When asked, “why did you want to climb Mount Everest?” British mountaineer Greg Mallory is quoted as saying “because it’s there.” When asked by a sherpa on the doomed 1924 British Everest Expedition if he had ever rolled a braided joint, Mallory did not reply.
Actually it’s unclear if Mallory ever uttered the three most famous words in the history of mountaineering (the next most famous being “back up closer to the edge, it makes a better pic”), and if had ever heard of a braided joint, then the secret was lost somewhere on the north-east ridge of the world’s tallest peak.
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What is a braided joint you ask? Long story short, it’s three joints braided together into one single joint that you can smoke together.
But why should I make a braided joint?
Making a braided joint is a fun and harmless stoner challenge, like making a cross joint, building a gravity bong, or attending community college. They’ll let anybody do it, nobody gets hurt, and you can even make friends and learn something along the way.
Also, after day 968 of coronavirus lockdown, you may be looking for new ways to get high, to pass the time, to feel human again. You can even talk to the joints as you braid them, acting out your own in-quarantine hair salon where no one has to shower, wear pants, or pay taxes on services rendered.
And if you’re like the rest of us, you’ve probably been baking a lot during the lockdown. You may have now become sick of baking bread. So in lieu of making challah, make a braided joint.
Ultimately though, while “why should I braid a joint” is a fair question, it’s also irrelevant. You braid a joint because you can.
What do I need to make a braided joint?
Good question. First off, you need some weed. Since you’re twisting up three joints, about 3 grams of finely-ground herb should do the trick. And if you buy it in the Himalayan foothills of Nepal, it may be much cheaper than what you’re used to.
You’ll also need four rolling papers and three rolled-up paper filter tips.
Which type of papers works best?
Just get four decent rolling papers from a trusted company, and ideally, some thinner ones should be better, so it twists easier. But really, don’t overthink this step.
How to prepare your weed
This is a novelty joint, and as such, it might not burn as easily as your standard straight shooter. Grind that herb up nicely, but not to a fine mist.
Ok, I’m ready, how do I roll this thing?
- First things first. Lay out four rolling papers on the surface you’re working on. And roll three filter boards for three joints.
- Roll three joints with filters. THIS IS KEY: Make sure these joints are not too tightly-packed. You’re going to want a nice airflow but mainly, this will make them more flexible and much easier to twist and braid. Make sure to leave a tiny bit empty at the tip, so you can twist the three together at the end.
- Tie a rope with the fourth paper. This will serve as a string to hold the joints together. Alternately, you could take the gum off of some rolling papers, moisten it, and use it to tie the filters together.
- Line up the joints side to side and tie the rolling paper string around the three filters, bonding them together. You may want to tie the paper string together first, and then cram the joints in, whatever is easier for you.
- Braid that shit. Just like you would (head) hair or three Twizzlers when you’re smacked out of your gourd at 3 am, the same concept applies. Take the first joint and braid it over the second joint, then take joint three and braid it over joint one. Then braid joint two over joint three. Keep braiding until you run out of joint, but one pass for each joint may be enough.
- Twist them together at the tip so they’re connected.
- Smoke the braid joint. You earned it.
How does the braid joint smoke? Getting this baby sparked might take a couple of pulls, but once it gets going, you’ve got a smooth burning novelty joint to impress your friends and colleagues during that next Zoom meeting.
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