Once a year, the bikini wax cartels bend us to their will. The annual race to find the perfect (or just good enough) Valentine’s Day plan or gift is a source of stress for countless people in relationships – the exact people who probably have enough stress, to begin with.
This year, we at International High Life have decided to do our part to make things easier, and help you find the perfect gift for the stoner in your love life.
1.) Cannabis chocolates
Chocolates are the perfect romantic gift for when you want to say “I care, but not enough to be creative.” And edibles are the perfect romantic gift for when you want to say “it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, you ain’t got nothing to do today anyway.”
Chocolate edibles go great with some strawberries and champagne, and they should get your partner high enough to where they don’t realize you didn’t plan anything for Valentine’s.
Any dispensary worth its nugs should have a decent chocolate edible on the menu for Valentine’s. Coda’s award-winning chocolate edibles look beautiful and you can find them at dozens of dispensaries across Colorado and California.
2.) The Grinder that Says “I shaved for this”
Like relationships, a reliable grinder can really make life easier. But with a grinder, the only thing that accumulates is keef, and not trauma and crippling baggage from another failed attempt at love.
This Valentine’s consider buying a grinder for you and yours. If your partner likes pink, try a grinder like this rose bad boy. And if your partner is an outdoorsman (or woman), a camouflage grinder is a fun option that will almost certainly get lost.
3.) Can you Smoke Lube? Gonna be a Long Night
Marijuana can be a social lubricant, but apparently you can also….just use it as a lubricant.
One company, “Quim” has launched a THC-infused lubricant called “Night Moves,” that it says can “intensify sensation and increase libido.”
But does it get you high? The company says that “8-10 pumps should get you where you want to be” (they mean 8-10 pumps of the lube bottle) and if it provides an incentive for further intimacy (“come on honey, we have to see if it works!”) then it could be a brilliant idea.
4.) Time for a Bong Term Relationship?
Buying a bong is a great way to say, I have faith in this relationship and I’m not worried it will fall and shatter. It’s also something that the two (or more) of you can enjoy together.
On Hemper, you can find a wide range of bongs and glass pipes that come with free Valentine’s Day gift bags depending on how much you spend – over $50, over $100, or over $150.
Nothing says I love you like “look at what I bought you and it qualified me for extra gifts free of charge!”
5.) Let’s Run Away Together – to Amsterdam
Much like the hajj, going to Amsterdam is a pilgrimage of sorts. If you’ve spent your life as a stoner in a locale where weed is illegal, then a trip to Amsterdam can be a great way to see how the other half lives and also to experience one of Europe’s great cities and it’s legendary “coffee shop” scene.
Amsterdam is easy to do on your own (stoned, wandering from one coffee shop to another) but you could also opt for a special couple’s retreat in the city, such as this one by the Lakshmi Lifestyle which includes Tantric Bodywork, Yoga, and Meditation.
And if you really want to see if this relationship is built to last, or if your face is actually made out of bees and why are mirrors so scary – consider a mushroom retreat in the city.
6.) Do Munchies Right – Cooking with Cannabis
Cooking with Cannabis can be more complicated than you may think, but luckily, the folks behind Bong Appetit: Mastering the Art of Cooking with Weed are on the case.
The book was inspired by the MUNCHIES and Viceland television series and covers all the basics of cooking with weed, from infusing to carboxylation to dosing. The recipes sound delicious, they’re easy to follow, and they don’t call for crazy amounts of weed.
Or, as they put it “we’re experimenting with weed, but not like teenage stoners hitting a homemade gravity bong. Instead, we have enlisted some incredible chefs to make weed food that eclipses those early brownies—the kind of fare that you’d want to sit down and eat even if there wasn’t weed in it.”
(You should put weed in it though)
7.) The Bath? You Put Your Weed in There
A nice, warm bath can be the perfect end to another day of work or the perfect start to another day of unemployment. And on Valentine’s Day, a bubble bath with your partner can make your hearts swoon and your hands prunes.
Kush Queen makes bath bombs that you plop in the water for a truly immersive experience. The company’s “love bath bomb” can be ordered as pure CBD or as a 1:1 mix of 25mg CBD and 25mg THC. Kush Queen says the bath bombs are “designed around the entourage effect,” the way in which cannabinoids can have a heightened effect when combined with terpenes and essential oils.
But does it get you high? We can’t make any promises, but it should definitely make for a relaxing bath (depending on who’s in there with you) and besides, nothing is stopping you from just smoking a joint while you sit in the bath.
8.) The Best Part of Waking Up – The Stoner Girl Coffee Mug
What better way to get your workday going than a cup of coffee served in a mug that will have you speaking to the HR department by lunchtime.
The Stoner girl mug pipe is a fun novelty ceramic coffee mug that comes with a handle with a bowl you can pack and hit, taking pulls in between each sip of coffee.
For Valentine’s it sends a great message – why not stay the night? Or better yet, I am an adult with more than one cup in my cabinet!
9.) Break the Ice with the Person Staring at Your Chest
Nothing says Valentine’s Day and romance like jewelry, ordered at a very affordable price on the internet.
The Rosa Vila THC Molecule Necklace is a great signature item of jewelry and a guaranteed conversation starter. It captures the THC molecular structure in alloy metal and sends the message that “I love marijuana” and also that you like chemistry, but not the bad type that ends up as meth.
It can also be versatile as well. Get in a bad conversation, and you can always say it depicts the structure of cyanide, arsenic, you name it.
10.) Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day? Cover all Your Bases Here
Wellness, happiness, stoniness – marijuana can make it happen. With legalization and greater cultural acceptance, marijuana is seen more and more as a perfectly legit (and helpful) part of a healthy lifestyle.
Nikki Furrer’s “A Woman’s Guide to Cannabis: Using Marijuana to Feel Better, Look Better, Sleep Better-and Get High Like a Lady,” is an all-in-one guide for the woman in your life who wants to learn more about cannabis and self-care – be she a marijuana novice or your mom (we heard she’s cool).
11.) Just Buy Them Weed
Maybe we’re overthinking this. What if – hear us out – you just bought your partner some weed?
It doesn’t need to be a large quantity, just a nice amount of the best weed you can find, and if you have a spare (real or fake) Tiffany’s box at home, that could make the perfect box for a couple of grams of the good stuff.
If you live in a legal state, we recommend finding one with a romantic name like wedding cake. And if you’re in San Francisco, apparently there’s a strain that could help you out if you’re buying weed for the woman in your life.
And Now the Hard Part
Buying a gift for Valentine’s Day can be stressful, but if weed is a big part of your relationship, it shouldn’t be too hard. And besides, we were told it’s the thought that counts and that’s our story and we’re sticking to it.
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