Houseplant by Seth Rogen: The Overpriced Weed Brand No Stoner Asked For

Key Takeaways:

• Houseplant is ridiculously overpriced, selling basic smoking accessories at luxury prices.
• $485 ashtrays, $220 lighters, and $45 rolling papers prove that this brand is for people who care more about looking cool than actually smoking weed.
• Houseplant is a prime example of cannabis gentrification, turning a cheap, everyday habit into an expensive lifestyle choice.
• Real stoners are still getting high for a fraction of the cost—without the unnecessary hipster tax.

Seth Rogen is known for being Hollywood’s most relatable stoner, but with Houseplant, he’s taken a hard left turn into the land of overpriced hipster nonsense.

Instead of making quality cannabis products accessible, Houseplant is more about selling aesthetics to people who want to “look like” they smoke rather than actually enjoying the culture. With outrageous prices and pretentious designs, it seems like Houseplant isn’t just elevating weed—it’s elevating the cost of being a stoner.

Let’s break down some of the most absurd items from the Houseplant store.

Houseplant’s Most Ridiculous Products (And Why You Don’t Need Them)

1. $485 Ashtray Set – The Price of a Month’s Worth of Weed

Let’s be honest—an ashtray’s job is simple: catch ashes and not break when you drop it while high. So why does Houseplant think this one is worth almost $500? Does it vacuum up your roaches, clean your lungs, and call your dealer for you? Because if not, I’ll stick to my free fast-food napkin.

2. $220 Table Lighter – When a BIC Just Isn’t Expensive Enough

A lighter is the most basic tool in a stoner’s arsenal. Yet, Houseplant somehow justifies charging over $200 for one. For that price, I expect it to light itself, double as a vape, and maybe even predict my future. But no—it’s just a clunky block of metal that does the same thing a $1 BIC does.

3. $45 Rolling Papers – Are They Handwoven by Monks?

If you’re spending $45 on a pack of rolling papers, you might as well just roll your joints with actual dollar bills. Houseplant’s papers are supposed to be “high-quality,” but last time I checked, the cheap ones from the gas station still get the job done without requiring a bank loan.

4. $250 Bong/Vase Hybrid – Because Your Weed Gear Should Be a Statement Piece?

Houseplant thinks that people want a “stylish” bong that doubles as a vase, but let’s be real—nobody’s putting fresh flowers in a pipe that still smells like last night’s resin. If you’re spending $250 on this, congratulations—you’ve been scammed into thinking weed gear should look like overpriced pottery.

5. $295 Turntable – The Ultimate Hipster Tax

A vinyl record player in a cannabis shop? Sure, because nothing screams “high experience” like an overpriced turntable you don’t need. Seth, we came here for smoking gear, not to cosplay as a 1970s jazz collector.

Houseplant Is Proof That Weed Has Been Gentrified

Houseplant isn’t about making weed culture better—it’s about selling overpriced nonsense to people who want to feel fancy about their cannabis habits.

Meanwhile, real smokers are still out here:
✅ Using their $2 BICs instead of a $220 lighter.
✅ Ashing into a normal $5 ashtray instead of a $485 tray.
✅ Rolling with $2 papers instead of a $45 pack.
✅ Using a regular beaker bong they got for cheap instead of a “designer” vase-bong hybrid.

Houseplant’s Cannabis Flower: High Hopes, Higher Prices

Houseplant offers a variety of strains, each with names that sound like they were pulled from a random “stoner vocabulary” generator:

• Pancake Ice (Sativa)
• Diablo Wind (Sativa)
• Pink Moon (Indica)
• 91 Krypt (Indica)
• Chemdog (Sativa)

While the branding is on point, the reviews tell a different story.

What the Reviews Are Saying

Despite the premium pricing, reviewers agree that Houseplant’s cannabis is good but not groundbreaking. Many note that while the quality is there, it’s not necessarily superior to other options available at lower prices.

If you want to impress your friends with designer weed and don’t mind paying extra for the brand name, Houseplant might be for you. But if you’re a savvy consumer who knows that quality cannabis doesn’t have to come with a celebrity endorsement (or a hefty price tag), you might want to explore other options.

Final Thoughts: Houseplant is a Luxury Tax on Common Sense

Seth Rogen, we love (some of) your movies—but nobody needed weed culture to be turned into a bougie art project. Houseplant has you covered if you want to pay rent prices for an ashtray. But if you just want to get high without getting scammed, you’re better off shopping literally anywhere else.