I'm a stoner who's not smoking. Help! Day 3 of Coronaquarantine | Highlife

I’m a Stoner Who’s Not Smoking. Help! Day 3 of Coronaquarantine

International Highlife’s Ben Hartman is on lockdown at his home in Israel with his wife and two daughters. He is not smoking weed. This is his story. 

March 17, 2020 – Day 3 of quarantine 

I haven’t smoked weed in 36 hours. I have mild asthma and with a respiratory plague named after shitty beer on the march, I made the decision to abstain from smoking until a vaccine is developed, the lockdown is lifted, or I am killed and eaten by my daughters (4 and 6), whichever comes first. 


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Also, I was down to my last gram – not enough to make edibles, and I was never any good at that anyway. 

Marijuana has been my main vice and oldest friend since I was 14. I’m on the wrong side of 40 now and facing a pandemic with kids. How will I cope without weed? Here are some takeaways so far. 

This morning I decided to talk to my wife. She’s lovely and it turns out she works in journalism – very interesting! We’ll see what else we have in common as the day progresses. 

My older daughter (Rachel? Unclear) starts first grade next year – if there is a next year. The younger daughter (Lil’ Rachel?) is on the balcony, naked and eating a pillbug. (If you work for CPS and are reading this, that’s a joke, she’s not actually eating it.)

We watched Frozen 2 last night. With better clarity, I’ve realized a few things. It’s basically a story of ethnic conflict, a settler-colonial state vs an indigenous people, expelling the sins of the ancestors, and a young lesbian who throws ice. Also, I fact-checked the snowman (Olaf), and it turns out turtles – at least some species – can breathe from their butt. 

A screenshot of the Wikipedia entry on the Fitzroy River turtle

I even screenshotted Wikipedia for you. (Screenshot/Wikipedia)

I also managed to work from home some. 

So far, abstaining from weed I have not discovered any new cognitive abilities or talents. I did have a really vivid dream last night for the first time in a while and it was terrifying. 

A net gain. 

37 hours in.